My Favourite Puns

You may or may not know, I love puns. I am having a little bit of a down day today, so I have put together a collection of my favourite puns. Hopefully they make you smile.

Saw a kidnapping today. Decided not to wake him up though...

Hey, I love u! It's my favorite vowel.

I see you have some graph paper. You must be plotting something.

If a dog has puppies in a public place, can they be arrested for littering?

I've just started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven't done a gig yet.

Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted.

What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.

Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands. I love this joke because it never grows old.

What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1.

The coffee tasted like mud because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.

I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.

(P + l) (a + n) = pa+pn+la+ln I just foiled your plan.

Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.

It was a terrible summer for Humpty Dumpty...but he had a great fall.

I had a little bird, her name was enza, I opened up the window and influenza.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Someone called you an owl. Hoo?

What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their child? Patty

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it's more of a wrap.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

Did you hear about the circus fire? I heard the heat was in tents!

I hated facial hair at first, but then it grew on me!

I told a deer joke once. It was very fawny.

Do you have a favourite pun? Leave a comment!